February 9th: 3 Years Ago Today...

I was anticipating my first date with Trevor Jay, which would be happening the next night.

However, of course I had to act calm and collected. 

Not too excited.

This golden opportunity had come about only after extensive conversations where we expressed excitement at dating, as well as fears if it did not go so well. 

However, we decided to give it a shot.

All day I thought, "Finally, after months and months of being best friends, it has all boiled down to this." 

Oh, I was so excited. 

I mean, how could I not be.

He was (and still is) handsome, smart, funny, genuine, and all things wonderful.

It was Friday Night. 

Another Night of Laughter and Fun.

Oh how I liked you.

All was going well. 

Until approximately 11:20pm....

Trevor: "Hey, Sarah..."

Me: "What's Up?"

Trevor: "So I've been thinking and I think I am just getting the friend vibe with us."

Me: "I just want you to be happy. And if you want to be friends, I am totally cool with that." {I heard the words come out of my mouth and I was shocked. Not at what I said, but that I sincerely meant it.}

Trevor: "Oh... okay. {slightly bewildered}, but we can still go on our date tomorrow."

{mentally me:"oh goody can we? That won't be awkward."}

Later, the Night ended, just the way it began.

Laughter and Fun.

I stepped outside and turned the corner to go to my apartment.

There they were: Those tears and the words that he said had finally caught up to me.

I held them in.

I came into my room to my Collettie Betty.

That's how you know a good friend: no words were necessary and even in the dark she knew something was wrong.

Tears were not a normal thing in our room.

Me: "Can I be sad for just 5 minutes?"

No answer was needed, just some time and some hugs to let me know it would be okay.

I could not believe it, the boy I had liked for so long, had cared about so much, was getting the "friend vibe."

What does the even mean?

Who uses the word vibe anyway?

It didn't matter though. No matter how he said it or the words he used, it all meant the same thing. 

We were never going to be together.

Or were we?.....

Stay Tuned,